I like to think it a success when the cops are called
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
