On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
