I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
