marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
