You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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