Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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