yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
