Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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