she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
