bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize