She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Is it penis luge time yet?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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