Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
