I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
