I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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