After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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