well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
