I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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