Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
