pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
