dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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