How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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