White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
