another moral hangover. fuck.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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