i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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