Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
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