You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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