I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
