I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
