This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
