Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
