me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
