Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
