Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
