Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
