so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
