stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
