Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we're making bets on your personal life
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
