Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
