Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
