Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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