So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
