i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
