I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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