i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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