Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
