I met the friendliest cop last night
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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