So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
