if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
