Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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