I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
