I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
