Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
