Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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