What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
